Hi my name is KoD and I'm a FUNZIOHOLIC!!

[Kiss Of Death]

Hi,

I feel like I need to confess and help myself. (Possum you are not invited this is a light hearted thread)

JOIN ME AND CONFESS YOUR SIN!

Well lets see 70 days ago I downloaded KA to score free gems in Pirates of the Caribbean... a game I was having fun with... being a girl who loves old fantasy and magic, princesses and dragons I decided what the hell and started it... oh what a mistake... I can only tell children not to start taking Funzio, it's not good for you, it rots your brain... drains your energy and leaves you an emotional mess husk of a person...

But my addiction didn't stop there.... oh no, I saw in Tapjoy another game called Crime City by Funzio and thought I remember my early days of Facebook having some game called mafia wars or something and thought... I wonder if it's a KA version of that... so I down loaded it.... oh my god... I fell in love... robbing, mugging, disrespecting other players... it was fun! I liked it so much I even spent a little money to have fun with some crate things.... I had also downloaded a game from Funzio called Modern War but hadn't done anything than open it and go 'oh yeah' a military game... I liked my fantasy stuff with armor and weapons, units that can die and I loved CC with all the boys in the hood decking them out with cars and stuff....

Then I saw it.... the golden light shone from above.... an ad for an upcoming event Player vs Player... I thought that'd be fun and the addiction started... logging in every 30-50 minutes... not sleeping properly to get more hits... bwahh hah ha I was in my game... then I thought... surely there is a web site for all this? and I found......

THE FORUM.....

So my third addiction started.... in the finance world we call this tying down your customer... loan, pay account, eftpos systems, overdraft, factoring, staff accounts, by the time you've added so many various connections they can't leave it's too hard.... Funzio had me now... KA... CC... Forum...

And I discover there is a PvP leader board posted... two days of them... every one is winging and whining and carrying on about how unfair, gold and long term player will win, you HAVE to spend money to win... and what does this level 31, 2 weeks player find???? She's on the board at 318... then 400... yes I decided I was to slow down for a day and I saw this... OH MY GOD I WAS ON THE CHART!!!! Boo to all the wingers who spent sooo long complaining they didn't even try.. and this little start up player was up there! Back on full time, alarm set... no way I'm dropping off... Then I'm back to 314... one day to go and I had 30 Tapjoy gold... it went on three refills of about 30 Stamina... looks like I didn't need it because I ended up 218th and a Black Widow Shotgun... The bait was set...

Over in KA I thought Crates work out very good for value and gives you a backbone of undying units with grunt... SO I started collecting the sets... and then I saw....

10 Item events... with some interesting special effects... Over in CC I was sooo hooked and on a high from the PvP win... there it was... the golden sniper rifle... +40% respect from fights... ooooooh I was so excited! $160 later in gold and over 120 gold opens and resets (had nine already by 24 hours nd 24 opens) and even overtime... no tenth piece... the anger... the adrenaline... the Aspergers meltdown hit!

Poor support... dozens of angry badly punctuated and misspelled emails... then I hit the Funzio.com contact page and sent angry emails to 'Business' 'General' 'Jobs'.... with no answers coming I turned to the forum and read more and was furious... I turned to iTunes... and was offered by them to discretely reverse every Funzio transaction back to my account... it happened.

But I was addicted... I tried to say no... no you learn once you move on... but alas my weakness was too strong... my Aspie brain had made Funzio one of my "things" now... I had to know it all, I had to understand it all, I had to work out EVERYTHING!!! So... ashamedly I re-spent the money buying gold in KA... but never again was CC to see my money....

By now I thought it's been a month lets look at the MW forums.. and I discovered... friends I saw so many people doing calculations my instincts kicked in... I opened the game on my iPhone... hook 4 sank in good and deep. This one was harder than the rest because EVERYTHING dies...

I started making spreadsheets (see sig link to another post below) for KA and then MW... and then the next addiction hits.... I won for free the inferno Hydra.... then I won the Arcane defender for IPH... then I won the Devil Warlord for free.... 3 in a row in KA.... Over in MW I started to play and found I won the Camo Bear for free...

SURELY I said to myself, the odds are not fixed... More gold in account... less items drop... noooo that can't happen...

So I buy 1500 gold for the new MW boat item... I had 1 grenade for free... then 2 more grenades with gold in a row... got to 7 quick... then ages for 8, another 30 gold opens for 9... now since then I have opened 900 gold worth of crates... and that's 60 actual opens... no final item.... So perhaps gold gives a 100% open but gold in your account = don't give the final item until its all gone? well I have 2500 more gold in there and doing cash opens.... no item yet...

BUT THE BIG ADDICTION PROOF IS HERE...

TO see if I can get it... today I dug out an old damaged iPhone (cracked glass) and wiped it, bought a $2 sim to activate it... transferred my game to it, turned off auto lock (Using another phone because if I get rung OT ends), have it running and plugged into power out of kids reach so i can leave it running for days in OT opening the other 100+ crates I have without issue...

I have sooo crossed the line into insanity...

Hi my name is KoD and I'm a Funzioholic...

KoD x

[Copenhagen]

Great diatribe, KoD. Yes, I read it all. I hope your family doesn't pull an intervention on you. The rest of us addicts need you around here.

[Kiss Of Death]

Great diatribe, KoD. Yes, I read it all. I hope your family doesn't pull an intervention on you. The rest of us addicts need you around here.

Me too... oh... and I have a new confession... I need War Priest to take my sins on board.... (whispers) I just bought 1500 gold in CC for the first time in 2 months... only spent a few hundred on some explosives that don't go 'pop' when used. Shhh don't tell anyone I'm too ashamed I actually spent money in CC

[Copenhagen]

Noooooooooooo! There is only one place for buying vaults and that is MW! I tool around for free in KA and CC.

[spectra]

great post KoD

welcome to the assylum, once you come in, you never leave, hahahahahahahahahahah.............cough, cough,.......hahahahahahahahaah

[Thunder Child]

Reading that felt like looking deep into my own eyes while shaving.... Disturbing, unsettling, and sadly true. Thank you, KoD for yet anothe great read!

My name is Thunder Child, and I have difficulties remembering who I really am!

[Populouspapa]

I think my sig says it all..

[siL]

this is oh so true... I will confess too...
in my case, the first time I downloaded this game was in a hotel lobby, using free wifi, when after 10 minutes of playing, I asked myself, WTH is this BS game!! a war game with no action, but double tapping enemies...what a waste...
luckily I didn't delete the game, and in my spare time, try to play a bit more...

then the EVENTS happen...the first one that I've encountered is the Blue Bandit (+1 valor to attacks?)
got up to 6, but been playing like a fool and adding so much ally, I couldn't find any players to beat in my rivals list..lol
for 2 days trying to find out how to reset my account (figure I could like Smurf Village) but there is none...
So I transfered my old account to my brother's Iphone, and start a new one, and BAM!!
a game changing Event : 67% faster energy replenish!! and what do you know...Beginner's luck, I GOT IT!!
hurray....as KoD said, the hook was set, I spent money to buy gold, to reset my nation from Iran to Russia
and since then been tooo addicted to miss any events that been coming up...

But I have to admit, this game is a game of wits, where strategy is really needed to win, and lots of data and information needs to be calculated before one could be the top.. a really complex, yet addictive game....

YES, I do have a MW Problem!! LOL!!

[Mcdoc]

It's like the song says - Welcome to Hotel California - you can check out anytime you want - but you Can never leave

[Jhoemel]

Great read kod, that was actually the only long post that I read the whole thing